Looking at the Stars

„Take me away!”, I scream out to my brothers. „Why did you leave me here?”

"You chose this", I hear in response. "We tried to convince you against it after you told us how hard it was down there. But you chose to go save that world".

"I changed my mind!", I scream in despair.

I'm trapped here. I'm looking at the stars...

Yesterday they weren't visible because the sky was cloudy... The longing was less profound...

Today the sky is clear.

I see Home. I see Freedom. I see Love and Happiness... But I can't be there!

I know the way back. I know it perfectly well. We all do, but we don't follow the steps.

We have all the knowledge and tools, but, instead, we drown ourselves in emotions and alcohol.

We drown ourselves in Matter. It feels like moving through molasses and we don't seem to want to start flying. And yet, we know how!

It's so hard to start, however... It's better to sink into nostalgia, dreaming that maybe someday someone will take us from here.

"Take me away!", I cry to my brothers. "Why did you leave me here?"

"You chose this," I hear back. "We advised you against it, after you told us how hard it was there. But you chose to save that world."

"I changed my mind!", I scream in despair.

I really don't want to, but I know I have to...

There's still so much to do before I can go back. So much work, not only on the world and the humanity, but on myself. Because now, I too am a human, and just like everyone else, I'm drowning every day. And I'm unable to stop.

I'm unable to want... I deeply desire, but on a human level I'm unable to want... It's a trap, how many more incarnations?

I know how to make this one the last one, but I don't do it.

I know how to manifest instantly, but I don't do it.

I know how to be Light, but I sink into Darkness because it's so tempting...

Tempting with comfort and pleasure. I can achieve peace, and I know what it's like not to be afraid, but I don't do it.

I can rise above the matrix, above the illusion, because I remember doing it once...

But I don't do it.

I understand every human, I understand every emotion, every behavior. I know what every glance means, I know when someone lies and when they pretend...

I know why people hurt and why they suffer. I don't need to learn about humanity.

Still, I don't take the next step, and that's why I'm still here. And that's why every time I look at the sky, I feel regret and longing, instead of excitement, that I'm coming Home soon...

One step takes a fraction of a second. Decision and thought.

A fraction of a second that has lasted so many years... In every moment, there is this moment to decide, but every moment passes.

And there are already thousands of moments...

Where is that moment? "When" is it?

Now. It's already here.

The Time is Now.

11:11

[The Lost Starseed]